Fick skriva en uppsats inom ämnet kärlek på engelska, "what is love to you?", det tyckte jag var mysigt! Tycker om att tänka på kärlek, för det mesta. Ibland är det bara bajs, kräklek.

What love is to me.

Actually, love is something I’ve given much thought. Why wouldn’t I? It’s the most important feeling to experience, and I like to analyze feelings and thoughts, “why do I feel like this? And what is this I’m feeling more precisely?”

Love is probably the biggest feeling of all, and could be divided into many subcategories. The love I feel towards my parents isn’t quite the same love I feel towards friends or boyfriends for example, though they have some things in common.

I use the phrase “I love…” quite often when it comes to objects such as movies, music and so on. I don’t know… maybe that’s violating the term “love” (or maybe that’s just another form of love). But music and movies, even art such as paintings has a way of touching my heart many times. Perhaps it’s the way the art makes me feel that I really love, rather than the art itself. I don’t know.

I consider myself to really love three persons, inside out. I can tell because these persons are more than just people in my life, they are parts of who I am, they are a part of me. They have made me develop in so many ways, and grown extremely close to me, and I can’t picture myself without them. They are closer than just surroundings.

These persons are my mother in law, my closest friend X and my former boyfriend X.

It’s insane how much they mean to me, it’s so strong there are no words to make it justice.

And there are so many people I know, that I care for so much, and really, really like. And if anyone of those where to just go away, I would be devastated, totally crushed.

But if my mom, X or X where to go away… it’s killing me just to think about it. I don’t know how to go on. It feel’s like I wouldn’t just lose someone precious, someone important to me, but I would also lose huge parts of myself. I don’t know how I could or would deal with that, and I wish that I’ll never find out.

But I guess that’s the way nature intended it, you can’t be with someone you love for all eternity. And when you lose someone you love, maybe it’s a good sign to be heartbroken. If it didn’t heart so bad, maybe it wasn’t so good in the first place?

And I rather feel bottomless deep love, through heart and soul in to the very bones, than to keep others at distance in order to save myself from the pain.

I believe that bitter, cynical people who think they are protecting themselves or whatsoever miss out on a lot of things in life.

Focus on the really good things, all the good memories. Even if it came to an end; was in not worth it?

So yeah. For me it’s a big deal to really, really love someone.

And in relationships, I think when you’re falling in love, it’s sort of like a drug, a rush, and when it’s passed, that’s when you’ll get to know if it’s really for real, if that’s a person you really want to spend your future with.

I think many couples brake up because they think “oh no, the butterflies in my belly’s gone away!” Well I say real love’s deeper than that, deeper than fluffy clouds, blushing faces and butterflies in the belly.

Real love’s stronger and deeper than that.

Deprimerande att skriva också. Hur slutar man älska någon? Varför skulle jag ens vilja? Svårt. ><

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